I'll never leave again, you are the only one.

Tonight I really missed him. It wasn't the normal ache that follows me like a shadow, it was in the forefront of my mind once again. I don't blame him for his decision. He was the best guy I have ever met, even to this day. The new girl is so lucky to have him by her side, she will feel like she can do anything, be anything because a boy who will give her everything he has is right there. I'm sorry I couldn't give him everything he wanted, I wish I could and if I could go back, I would. It seems in silences and in swells that nagging won't abate. It reminds me incessantly that I messed up. In the morning when I wake up and at night when I lie in bed, restless and heart shuddering, I think of him, of us. I'll always be waiting, always keep trying to make myself good enough. Maybe one day I'll make it, maybe one day all of these moments will mean something to someone other than me.

I'm not gonna make you feel love if you don't

I thought there was a reason, for the memories in my head
I thought that perhaps in time, they would be slowly put to bed
It seems there's no change to be had, no new story to be told
I'll continue the way I had planned, though with no one here to hold
It is rather strange to consider, how much these things have changed
How simple things turn sour, and hearts be re-arranged

Had I not been so controlling or not been so unsure
I wouldn't be feeling this sadness, deep inside my core
I'd hoped that you would long for me, miss me like I do you
But it seems that I have made my bed, I'll have to lie in it too.