Is no longer there

How could I have been so absolutely stupid? How could I have been so idiotic to not know what was going on? When he got so worried when I mentioned her name, when he froze every time I told him that I got a drunk phone call. I'm just so ANGRY with myself and it makes me wonder, what if it happened with MSAS? Would I know? Would I have an inkling of an idea? I like to think that I would but I can't be sure. At least I can be sure of one thing, MSAS would NEVER do that to me, he cares about me, the last one NEVER did.