I used to hate being right. It meant that something bad was going to happen. It meant that the boy that I loved had done something that I expected but that made us fall apart. It used to mean that I would be covered in torment and disappointment. I hated it, I hated what I had become and the fact that I thought I needed to be like that for someone to love me. I stayed because I thought no one else would ever love me. Now that I'm older I see that what he felt for me was not love. It was a misguided attempt of feeling. I thought, maybe if we break up again, he would see that what he was doing hurt me and that he SHOULDN'T be doing that. Instead, it just meant he got better at hiding things from me.
Life's different now. This boy is my world. Never once have I felt the way that I did a year ago. I have never felt like I meant nothing to him, that I was disposable. I have never felt so loved by another person. I have never felt so lucky to have found someone. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and the last one I think of before I fall asleep. I wear his ring and I feel like he's with me everywhere I go. It makes me feel safe and reminds me that even on my worst days, there is something wonderful in my life. I had a bit of a breakdown last week, inconsolable crying and shutting myself away, I called him and he made me laugh. Not only this, he stayed on the phone with me until I was better, even though he had other things to do. I love him more than words can explain and even though he deserves better, I'm glad he chose me.
Now, I love being right. I was right when we met and I thought this could be the guy I could see myself staying with.
