Love. It's a word that can bring out many different feelings. Hurt, happiness, harmony, all possible. When someone says that word, a person pops into your head or sometimes many do. The thing that separates them is that it is never exactly the same as it was with one person, good or bad.
I've been lucky enough to experience both sides of the spectrum. I was distrustful after my first mistake, I was angry and hurt and I didn't believe it would ever be anything other than that. There was a serious connection there, one that I still think about but it was so destructive that nothing could survive there.
The next boy was not a mistake at all. He was most probably the best guy I have ever met in my life. He made me happy and I made him happy, at least initially. We both agreed, it was the best year of our lives. Unfortunately, my own doubt crept in once again and things ended. I can't say that it doesn't hurt still, but I can say that I am so grateful that he helped me heal.
So my decision making skills around relationships are still pretty rocky. I still get into situations I would rather not be in, I still trust my gut where I shouldn't but it's a learning curve. I'm happy enough being alone and just meeting people to have fun with. It's working out pretty well for now.
So now that the blog is back online, hopefully I can do some more writing now that things have settled down, sorry I was gone for so long.
Let's see how this goes.
