If I could find you now things would get better.

She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time. -The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

It's hard to explain this type of a feeling to someone who has never experienced it. I think it's going to be a little while for it to go away this time, healing hurts. I may still be hurting for now, one day I will look back and think this time was  completely irrational. When I talk to other people about it, I realise there is no reason to be this torn up, its completely without cause but if it's just me, it's hard to leave something behind. I'm really looking forward to this new chapter coming, and I really like him but it will be different, whether that's a good thing or not we will see. The new boy says I deserve to be treated well, that I shouldn't doubt whether the person I'm with only has eyes for me, after all I have found out that really wasn't the case. I think I will always be a bit suspicious now, I just have to remember it's not going to happen with every partner I have. He's a great guy and he treats me well but we only except the love we think we deserve, this is far too much.