All I wish for and all I need.

I just watched The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I don't think I have ever loved a movie more. It was like retracing my steps through all the years, it felt like it was me. I still get really worried, worried I might slip up again and that there won't be anyone to stop me next time. I am scared as hell that I won't wake up in the morning because I did something stupid. I really just want to get away, from this town, from people, most of all I want to get away from myself. I'm plagued with fear that I'm not a good enough person, that I should be stronger, that I should try harder at everything, that I need to be there for people more, I'm afraid that people don't know how much I love them, how much I want for them to be happy. Sometimes for someone to be happy you have to be broken. I don't know if I can break myself apart again, I don't know how to please my family and friends, to please him and still feel whole inside. I just need to forget, I just need to sleep, I need this all to stop.