Wishful thinking.

I'm not embarressed that I like Taylor Swift. She seems to understand what I am thinking, how I'm feeling, even when I'm not sure what it is I feel. There are two ends of the scale, what if I'm not at either? After so much elation, how do I remember how to be normal, how do I remember what it's like to go back? If I could I would go back. I would start things over, make things simple, I'd stop Nick from coming near me, I'd stop myself when I should have, I wouldn't be scared. Maybe that would change what was happening now, I would realise what it was that meant everything to me. I'd know what to do. But I can't and I need time. The thing that I don't have.