This world will never be what I expected.

I woke up and as my eyes opened I knew it was a mistake. I knew I shouldn't have gone back there, I knew no good would come of it. I just had to see it for myself, the place that broke me, the place which tormented me. It looked no different, the roses were still there, the church. A place like that did not deserve a church. It did not deserve a single thing. Walking under the jacaranda trees I still felt like he was watching me, was following me like all those times before. As I walked up the stairs I felt every piece of me fall and shatter. I heard all their favourite words for me, I could feel them playing with my hair, cornering me. I felt the darkness closing in, some things you will never forget and this was etched into my being as much as my name was. I'm not going to say he ruined my life, my life has just begun. He certainly made it harder for me, he made me fearful and empty. I control me now, I am no longer his. He has my fear but not my fate.