I awoke, only to find my lungs empty.

Having no idea where your life is heading is scary, you don't know whether you are running straight into the fire or whether things will turn out. Questioning things is the way I figure out where my path lies, maybe I rely on it a bit too much, but I would never be able to trust that everything would be okay again. I need to have an out, always and forever, like sitting in a position within a restaurant where I can see everyone, I can monitor the exits and I always know that I can control where I go if not what I do. 
Moving forward is something that we all strive for, to let the current pull us back even at the slightest rate would be deeply alarming. Though I am always guarding my back, I am making changes, I am trying my best not to be full of aggression and anger, yelling is not going to change the past even if it alleviates the tension for a little while. 
Trust and control are two things I talk about a lot. You crave it when you don't have it like you wouldn't believe, but maybe all of this is about letting go, what if the whole point of life is to just exhale and see where you end up. It's trial and error and if you're lucky, you won't regret it.