Hide and Seek

I used to expect more from myself. I used to expect that I would end up singing in a club somewhere, having someone waiting for me when I got home. I used to expect that I would find the right person, I believed that they would be mine, that they would understand everything that had happened and that when I couldn't trust myself in anyway that they would be there and that they would do what was right for me when I couldn't see it for myself.
I used to expect that timing wouldn't be an issue, I expected that I wouldn't have to tell them to stop or tell them when I was uncomfortable. I expected that they would just know, that there was no pressure, that I didn't need to worry about what they were wanting to achieve. I made a mistake and I don't know how to fix it this time. How do you fix something you never had full control of anyway? Instead now I lay expectancies aside and feel shame that I am not the person I thought I was.