Here I go, I'll tell you what you already know.

I'm sitting here infuriated with myself. I don't know what I want. I guess you made the choice for me. I just need to shut my eyes and forget but all I see is you. I need to believe there is someone out there who loves me like you love her, I need to believe in something. I thought I saw a day where we could try again, where things worked. I guess it was just a glimpse in the rear view mirror. Remember the night that I called you clingy? You drove that car so fast I thought we were both going to die. I suppose I should remember you like that instead of the boy who I loved with all my heart, maybe that will make this easier. So I'm making the decision to stop this blog altogether. It use to be mine but I think it's turned out to be ours and given there is no us, it just hurts too much and keeps ripping out the stitches so I can't forget.