You won't feel a thing.

He said to trust him and that everything would be fine. He said that no matter what there was nothing anyone could do to rip us apart, to make us unequal. He said a lot of things.
When he found me I was weak, I had no control over my situations, my circumstances. I believed that I chose my path, that I was the reason I was here, that it was all me but the path was made for me, for me specifically apparently. He created my little hell, made it specially for me, made me comfortable just to take it away, gave me a fresh start forged for ruin.
Being in that place, that hole of despiration where he left me, was an experience few would forget. The physical place was nice, a big house, not a home but nice enough, the emotional well being of everyone in that house was drawn into question because of his decisions. He made choices that no one could understand. He chose violence and chemicals, he chose pain and destruction as his bedfellows and from there you cannot turn back.
I wish I could say he only hurt me, but he hurt himself as well, that's what made me stay, that's what made me believe that we could still have a shot, if he stopped hurting himself he could stop hurting me just as easily, it was too much for him to handle and apparently it was too much for me as well.
We left the house, The Pain and Destruction as we used to affectionally call him stayed, he decided that his house would not be left just because he was. P and D had many people stay in that house, all left one way or another, some walking and others not. He chose his path and he followed through, he never turned back when faced with the problems that arose from his decisions. At least he was faithful to his decisions, faithful to his own creations. He had no honour apart from this. Honour is not everything, faith matters little but pain and hurt matter, they matter almost as much as where they came from, love and need. These leave us in pieces, we much choose to pick them up and reconstruct the puzzle, the building plans which we do not see are to be followed, if a mistake is made we go back to the place where the love and need began and once again the cycle will hold us in its grasp. I use to think that he held my life but he was only a messenger of what was to come.