All I need is a bitter song to make me better.

I just need everything to stop. I need to have time to be sad. I feel my chest collapsing every day now, I feel pointless. I try to convince myself that it's him and not the illness coming back. I don't want it to get bad again, I don't want to be that person. I was shutting down the blog for a while, until the phone calls stopped, until I was able to go out again. I used to reach out for help using this blog, I used to have a love for this site, now I'm so scared and so tired that I keep on losing where I am supposed to be going. I just keep sinking below the surface and into the deep. Those who know me well know this is a Grey's Anatomy time for me, I'm scared that there won't be a way out this time.