Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home.

Maybe I should just stop. I'm not strong enough for this. I can't get these marks and just move on, they stay planted in my head, unmoving, demolishing any past successes. I have no doubt some people would be pleased enough to read this, but no one ever will. I knew this wouldn't be easy and I expected that I would give up, I didn't think I would make it this far to be honest, I expected that I would let the earth swallow me whole after the first assessment. I understand what they are asking, I understand what I need to do, I know which formulas to apply and I make sure I understand it all and yet as soon as that clock starts ticking, I frantically try and throw everything at a question which I know the simple answer to.
It would be so much easier to just go back to a dead end job, go back into the shadows like they would appreciate but I wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment in my father's eyes and I would probably ruin that too.
What if I can't move past this? What if this is all I ever amount to? There isn't a job for me even if I do finish this degree. Realistically, I'm never going to make it in to the vet course, let alone finish it. Why am I so inept? In the morning when I wake up I will either feel better or worse and both things scare me.